Beautiful Mess

Jen Laffin: Converting Inner Doubt to Perseverance and Passion.

Jen Laffin is a former teacher turned mindset coach. She joins Isabel to discuss overcoming self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and procrastination.
Her teaching career, filled with the challenges of educating the whole child, has given her the tools to help individuals achieve their goals. From being a social worker and a psychologist for her students to now coaching adults to get past their self-doubt, Jen’s journey is a testament to perseverance and passion.
Jen’s story explores navigating the messy middle of any journey, the importance of mindset, and how to transform limiting beliefs into catalysts for growth. Jen's beautiful narrative will leave you inspired and equipped with practical advice to tackle your own struggles.
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jen-laffin/
Learn more from Jen Laffin by listening to The Flight School Podcast.
Did you find value in this episode?  Kindly give the Beautiful Mess podcast a 5-star review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you may listen to podcasts. 
Beautiful Mess Podcast.
Thank you for listening! 
https://beautifulmesspodcast.podbean.com/
 

Jiten Patel: Stigma of Exclusion to Maximizing Diversity Through Inclusion

How we frame things can change the outcomes. 
Jiten didn't speak English when he first went to school in the UK.  None.   He felt isolated, confused, and alone. . 
When new students, who also didn't speak much English, were assigned seats next to Jiten, offered a perspective to truly feel the stigma of exclusion. 
Isabel, our host, dives a little deeper with Jiten to reflect on these childhood experiences and how that shaped Jiten's future. 
Jiten utilized Project Management skills to create new paths in diversity and inclusion. 
Has your childhood shaped your future in a meaningful way? Leave a comment to let us know your story! 
Feel free to connect with Jiten Patel on LinkedIn or explore his resources about synchronized diversity available and diversync.co.uk. 
 

Tom Doherty: Teen parents, Pivot or Perish, and D-Suite @ Facebook.

We were all born to matter and have gifts to share with the world.That's Tom Doherty's life mission. 
Listen to Isabel navigate through Tom's Beautiful Mess called life.  Tom's incredible story stems from challenges and chaos of childhood as he was raised by two teenage parents, challenges and chaos from childhood.  As well, how he found himself as "the fixer" and National Director for Facebook is Silicon Valley. 
Power Takeaways on this episode of Beautiful Mess:
When you grow up in an environment where you don't know where you're going to be from one day to the next, you're resilient.
What it meant to become a father.
How we show up for our children..."I spend time with them and I love them...it's that simple".
They used to call me "the cleaner" ...I would fly in and fix accounts and fly out again.
The reality of "empty nest syndrome".
Leading teams through the pandemic..."pivot or perish".
Tom's message is #born2matter
...and so so much more!!!!
 
Connect with Tom on LinkedIn: 
http://linkedin.com/in/thomas-dohertyjr
Does Tom's story resonate with you? Tell us how in the comments. We'd love to hear from you. 
 
 

Zora Lazarov: Exploring psychological unsafety

Zora speaks with us about her ‘jump’ from working for a number of high end organisations…Including Apple, Deloitte, Ericsson, Ikea and Syngenta to name a few…as a psychologist, senior people partner numerous leadership teams…to becoming a ‘mumpreneur’ who works with mindset and behaviour disruption.
Through this work Zora crafts really concrete and tangible journeys for leaders to evolve not only their career, but also the evolution of their overall wellbeing.
We cover a lot  in this conversation and I cannot wait for you to tune in.
Zora brings us so much wisdom from her insights in the arenas of neurodiversity, behaviour change, disruption, psychological unsafety, and our day to day choices.
 
Power Takeaways:
20 years in corporate human resources.
Being a mumpreneur in ‘growth phase’.
Exploring how Zora’s ADHD has played out in her life.
Emotional regulation and impulse control.Thanking ADHD for giving Zora the courage to jump out of Apple.
Relating impulsive decisions to buying dogs and houses (and whirlpools!) 
When male executives are given the space and opportunity to take off the harness
We often see the ‘A’ in the alpha male as one thing…very quickly it can turn to Anxiety or Apathy.
To help ‘armour down’ and to offer powerful tools for these leaders so that they have choice over their behaviour again.
What does it mean to have psychological unsafety?
Exploring what “beautiful mess” means to Zora.
Connecting this framework to parenting her two children.
Planting the seeds of her business in the garden of growth…and we have to be ok with our garden looking like a beautiful mess of a garden.
 
Resources Mentioned:
Zora’s website: https://www.zoralazarov.com/Zora’s linkedin: linkedin.com/in/zoralazarov
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@zoralazarovInsta: https://www.instagram.com/zoralazarov

E08: Steve Arntz....‘Universal access to meaningfully connected experiences that inspire people to live better lives together

Steve Arntz is the co-founder of ‘Campfire’...and a father and a husband.
Steve speaks about realising what ‘family first’ really means to him…what it really feels like to commit to that statement. 
We hear about Steve’s spouse and children. 
We hear how Steve has managed to get back to his family being the centre of his world and how challenging that has been throughout his entrepreneurial journey.
Steve speaks very openly about what Campfire means to him and all he is building with this work as a founder, parent and entrepreneur.
His mission statement with this work is so powerful:‘Universal access to meaningfully connected experiences that inspire people to live better lives together’.
We explore the seed of why Steve wanted to build this platform and all it provides to support his ‘augmented humanity’ mission with the work and technology he’s building with Campfire. 
The three questions that started everything…
What got you to this place right here? 
Where do you want to go? 
How are you planning to get there?
People just loved these conversations…and still do!
How creating a pack of cards based on thousands of hours of research began the process towards Campfire.
A conversation filled with honesty, integrity and inspiration.
Power Takeaways:
We can trick ourselves into thinking that work first equals family first…especially if your mission driven then work becomes first and family comes second.
It’s taken 15 years to know and feel that family first = family first. 
The mission of Campfire is true and real.
Mission Statement: ‘universal access to meaningfully connected experiences that inspire people to live better lives together’.
How universal access to conversations and connection for people everywhere. 
Technology built that supports facilitated guided spaces.
Reference to Esther Perel’s alternative meaning when she speaks about “AI”...’Artificial Intelligence’.
‘Augmented humanity’ …how can we start to see technology as a way to bring out our humanity and accentuate our humanity we will ‘win’.
The power of asking the question ‘why are you here?’ and ‘what do you want to have happen next?’.
Asked the three questions and then mapped out the data that came back.
How the physical sketches that inspired this work started.
How building a deck of cards was the start of this.
How Steve has moved from being (self confessed) self centric and moved across to ‘others centric’. It can take years!!
How he is devoted to building conversations for people. 
Find the most important relationship in your life and what is the one thing I can do to enhance, build or make that relationship better. 
Resources Mentioned:
https://www.getcampfire.com/
https://www.stevearntz.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevearntz/

E07: Keri-Lynne Shaw …”you are allowed to love what you do and get the pay to match…I love helping people learn how to advocate for themselves and I do think it’s what I was meant to do”

Keri-Lynne Shaw describes herself as a …..
KL describes how much power the phrase has for her when it comes to life and when it comes to career.
We explore the frequent ‘mucky/messy’ situations that KL has come across as a Chief People Officer. How important it is to talk about these messy situations, and how by talking about it allows us to explore the difficult situations we discover in our work.
Most people do not like to have messy conversations. 
There has to be something we pay attention to when it comes to being a leader. Most organisations will cut the development budget first…and so the support isn’t there…and so many leaders do not take the initiative to build self awareness and hold themselves accountable.
The importance of failure, and how in some organisations that either do not allow failure at all…or the fear overrides everything, people cannot grow.
 
How our children can be so different to us, and how we can learn from them.As a parent…there are a few years through the teenage years, you feel like the dumbest person on the planet. 
We don’t have a playbook on being a parent…and the messages that matter most.
We include three diamond questions! 
What do you love?
What are really really good at?
How do you want to make an impact on the world?
The beautiful leaders and the ‘horrible’ leaders…and how we can learn so much from both.
Power Takeaways:
The belief that I have to somehow divide my work and my life …and it’s so important that we get to choose.
It’s such a beautiful idea that we get to see beauty in the mess.
There is no straight line…not in parenting, not in career…not in anything!
Turning failure into learning…everything is learning.
The importance of hiring a coach when you get stuck.
There’s only two things I can control…1. How I show up, and 2. How I treat others… and the rest of it is not up to me.
When we’re triggered, it’s on us to get curious. 
We cannot control other people’s ‘shut down’ or trigger.
Our communication can always be finessed.
How do you think about the red thread in your life and in your career?
You only have a short window to tell your story…and understanding how to tell that story will help you identify the values that match with the company you’re interviewing with.
How to do the money conversation…how to present it and when to present it.
You won’t get to the money conversation until you’ve done your work on the ‘red thread’.
Taking the time to understand yourself, and your value add.
You want the other person to be in a situation where they cannot imagine the world without you.
Leaders that believe in us give us the confidence to do more, and want more and allow us to take the risks.
Feel what you feel when you feel it, and don’t apologise for it.
We need more emotion in work…we need to see those big feelings.
Resources Mentioned:
The Salary Bump
Instagram: @thesalarybump
TikTok: @thesalarybump
Linkedin

E06: Minola Jac “...a journalist by trade and a change practitioner by choice…”

Minola Jac has written the most exceptional book “Everyday Inspiration for Change” (or “my baby doorstopper”!!) …
We chat about the book initially before diving into Minola’s incredible journey through her work and life.
Minola has a way of articulating moments that will stay with you for many weeks after hearing this conversation.
A journalist by trade and a change practitioner by choice…Minola has the beautifully messy offers throughout this conversation.
I can only hope you love this as much as I did.
Power Takeaways:
Creating a book that didn’t start out as a book.
Writing being a sanity practice and mindfulness practice.
Minola’s journey with ‘Syngenta’ alongside her journey with writing.
Doing change work as a practitioner at heart.
An obsession with post its!!
How her teams allow the space and grace for her to try out different approaches at Syngenta and how she loves her work.
How journalism is still today her “most intense dream” in her life.
A comment from her teacher aged 11 …”you could really make a life with writing”...
How her grandfather reading newspapers inspired Minola to become a newspaper journalist.
Minola’s studying experiences in America and Bucharest.
“Once a journalist, always a journalist”...it builds such incredible life reflexes.
When I need to process my reflex is to write an article up in my mind.
Writing without adjectives…and how that affects our perception in every moment.
Enjoy everything to the fullest!
“Words are events…they do things…they change things …they transform both speaker and hearer…” (Ursula K LeGuin)
Resources Mentioned:
Everyday Inspiration for Change
LinkedIn

E05: Freddie Fforde: “...at Patch, we see ourselves as guests in somebody else’s community…”

Freddie Fforde is the founder of Patch...Freddie introduces us to the vision of Patch and how it incorporates everything to do with community, collaboration and local business, as well as being a shared “work near home” workspace.
We speak about how working near to the people and places that we love means that we can invest more time into those people and places. 
We speak about the importance of building community as a way to mitigate loneliness.
Freddie shares the story of the ‘long history’ version of his inspiration to build Patch, offering some real gems that link back to that story, as well as what still inspires him today.
The conversation then moves through his experience of being a founder and speaking with numerous founders and entrepreneurs…we explore some of the practices he’s observed throughout this process.
Freddie offers his brilliant approach of “build, measure, learn” as a founder and leader, and how that’s worked for him and the teams he leads.
We also of course then understand more about the meaning of “beautiful mess” for Freddie.
The beauty of the mess for him has a lot to do with the operation underneath the public image.
A rich conversation with an incredible founder and human!
Power Takeaways:
Fundamental belief that people are great everywhere.
People need a place to come together and to build community so that they can be stronger together.
How difficult it is behind the scenes to build a crisp, serene process.
The success of the output of a business is dependent on the effectiveness of its inputs, and the effectiveness of that input is indirectly or directly controlled by the people.
Everything is always changing inside and outside businesses.
Internal mantra at Patch is ‘build, measure, learn’ which encourages a  truly agile culture.
You’ve got to start somewhere and accept that failure, within reason, is going to be a part of that.
There can be a real beauty and a real pride in knowing that things are improving as you move through the process.
To bring the thing into the world and to want it to be better.
The first thing I say to people when I onboard them is “I want you to feel safe here”. That’s what matters the most.
Resources Mentioned:
Patch website: www.patch.work
Freddie Fforde linkedin page: linkedin.com/in/freddiefforde
“The Library of Things”: www.libraryofthings.co.uk
Django’s coffee: @djangosspecialtycoffeehouse
Flower tonic: flowertonic.co.uk

E04: Kathy Love "...."there's a lot of messiness in my life...and there's also a lot of beauty."

Kathy Love talks about how we can have beautiful moments within the mess of our lives.
We share about Kathy’s role as “Chief Community Officer” for  “The Outlier Project”, founded by Scott Macgregor, and what an inspirational and crucial community it has become for both of us.
We hear about Kathy’s work and practice, particularly her own discovery of the importance of healing…both her own healing and the healing within her family.
We explore what it takes to switch off from the chaos (particularly when we have become addicted to the chaos)  and how to practise tuning into the peace…even when at the start of this  process, we have no way of knowing where to begin.
We speak about the ‘beautiful mess’ of being a parent and how that is directly connected to the creation of Kathy’s Ted Talk. Also, how important it is to share this struggle with other parents in our communities.
We finish with a deeper dive into getting curious about the beautiful mess of life.
Power Takeaways:
Find the beauty within the mess
The key importance of community
The challenge of finding your own version of peace within the chaos
Beauty happens during some of the darkest moments
How parenting can create such a ‘beautiful mess’
The power of self care 
Resource Mentioned:
My Self Care Sh*t: The Workbook https://a.co/d/cAnezhZ
Listen to Kath Love's Ted Talk HERE

E03: Botagoz Shantemirova ..."the things that I had to go through became a trigger for my self discovery”

Welcome to another episode of Beautiful Mess where we explore how to navigate life's challenges and find meaning through adversity. Today's guest Botagoz Shantemirova shares her inspiring journey of personal growth after facing difficult life events.
Botagoz shares how parenting her neurodivergent son opened her eyes in life-changing ways. Tune in to hear her journey of self-discovery sparked by navigating her child's unique needs, and how it lit a fire for advocacy. Don’t miss these powerful insights on diversity, flexibility, and finding purpose through facing challenges alongside loved ones.
Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:
Botagoz' diverse background and career path from banking to sustainability 
How parenting a neurodivergent child sparked advocacy and inclusion work
A turning point during meditation that gave strength to create joy
Episode Highlights:
[07:11] Finding Purpose Through Family History
Botagoz reflects on how listening to her father's stories as a child shaped her outlook. Her family endured much turbulence over generations due to where they lived and the historic period. Though she didn't consciously consider it before, Botagoz believes unconsciously absorbing her family's resilience through storytelling is what fostered her entrepreneurial spirit and passion for enacting change. 
Hearing of their hardships and comebacks imbued her with drive to make the world better, as she saw how even in difficult times, her ancestors overcame challenges through determination and vision of improving their circumstances. This planted a seed that would blossom into Botagoz' diverse career helping others through sustainability work and entrepreneurship.
[15:01] A Parent's Journey to Advocacy
Botagoz shares how her son being neurodivergent presented immense challenges as a parent to understand his needs. However, it also opened her world in an unexpected way. Through navigating how his brain works differently and ensuring accommodations allowed him to thrive, she gained profound lessons about diversity. 
This fueled her passion for creating a society where all children feel included, regardless of abilities or circumstances outside their control. Botagoz learned empathy and the importance of flexibility through her son's journey. 
Now she is a champion for neurodiversity and helping shape environments welcoming to diverse talents. Facing life's messy periods can spark growth in unforeseen areas, as Botagoz found her purpose advocating for others through overcoming struggles alongside her child.
[19:57] Finding the Light Within
Botagoz shares one of her darkest moments, when surrounded by darkness and despair, she was on the verge of giving up. It was during a group meditation that a profound realization came to her - no one can bring her joy but herself, and it is her responsibility to consciously create moments of happiness. This pivotal insight gave Botagoz an inner strength just when she needed it most. Even in the midst of struggle, she found the power to pursue meaning and find joy was within her grasp. 
This turning point reminded her that light can be discovered in even our lowest valleys, if we open our eyes to the beauty in both external and internal experiences. It was a lesson that continues to guide Botagoz in embracing life's messy periods and discovering renewed purpose each day.
Resources Mentioned:
Connect with Botagoz Shantemirova on LinkedIn